At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
