idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
