i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
