Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he was CRYING into my vagina
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
