Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
