Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
