What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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