cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
