It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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