I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
