I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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