..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
