just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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