We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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