he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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