Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize