If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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