I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She is in my trunk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
