Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
