Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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