When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
