stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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