Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
