Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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