Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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