I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
