I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
