Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
