God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
