Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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