Can i not drive my cunt home
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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