In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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