His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
