im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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