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Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
