You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
