I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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