Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
