I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want her autograph on my taint
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
