Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
