Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
