We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just high enough for therapy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize