I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
