fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
