Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
