Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
