K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
