i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
