wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
