Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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