so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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