New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
