so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
