Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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