It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize