you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
