ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
