end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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