I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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