Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
