Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
