I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
