Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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