I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
