I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
