My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
