So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my being single is dangerous.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
